
I am pleased to share with you the following guest post by Anita Campbell. Anita is the Founder of the Small Business Trends website and CEO of BizSugar, an online community of small business owners. Today she tackles a topic of concern when establishing great employee engagement and workplace team building strategies: not crossing the friend line with your employees to your business' detriment. Enjoy!
Everyone wants – has a need, even – to be liked. It certainly makes going to work every day a lot easier if the people you work with like you. And because we spend so much time at work, it's only natural to want to cultivate friendships with the people we're with for so many hours every day. The rules change when you're the boss, though. There's nothing wrong with being friendly with your employees. But you do have to draw the line, or maybe a few lines, to also avoid damaging your professional relationships with them, and to keep their respect. Here are a few tips on how to maintain that delicate balance.
Don't Get Too Personal
You've probably read or been told that you should set boundaries with your employees. But what does that mean, exactly? It would be awkward to actually sit your employees down and go over a list of what subjects are okay to talk about, and which ones are taboo. But it can also be difficult to establish those lines in a more subtle manner. How you set those boundaries is up to you, but one of the most important things to avoid is getting too personal.
From time to time, your employees may have to reveal certain personal information to you if it's about something that may affect their work. Having surgery can mean time out of the office, for example. Or maybe they're getting a divorce, and must remove their spouse from their insurance coverage. There's really no getting around that, as uncomfortable as it may be for everyone involved. But those types of revelations should only go one way. Need to be away from work for medical reasons? That's all you need to say. Getting a divorce? Try to keep it to yourself.
Just like you wouldn't broadcast your problems on a business networking site, you don't want to let your entire office know what you're going through. Your employees need to have faith that you are there to manage and help them, and although you want them to see you as human, you must try to maintain their confidence in you, and in the company. Breaking down in the office because your spouse left you will damage that confidence. Take time off if you need to, but keep your personal life personal.
Now, as with many rules, there is an exception to this one. If you're a small business owner, and you only employ a few people, it may be more difficult to separate your personal life from your professional one. A startup can oftentimes create a camaraderie and a sense of ownership that employees in larger companies don't feel. You may all be spending long hours in the office together to get those client proposals done, or inviting your employees' ideas and contributions to get your startup past one of the inevitable hiccups you'll run into. If that's the kind of relationship you've built with your employees, you may feel more comfortable revealing some of the more personal details of your life. Just remember to maintain your position as the boss at the same time.
Don't Get Drunk in Front of Employees
You'd think this one would need explaining, but think back. Before you were promoted or started your own business, did you ever see one of your bosses get drunk at the company Christmas party, or the company picnic? It happens more often than you might think, and much more often than it should. Learn from those experiences, and don't be that boss.
It's okay to have a drink or two with your employees from time to time. Most people will probably have a drink at a holiday party or other company event. Or maybe you'll go out after work to celebrate landing a big contract. Just don't overdo it. Your employees do not need to see you slurring your words, or losing control in public. It can be embarrassing, and make it very difficult for them to respect you once you're back in the office. And let's face it, no one likes to have to babysit someone who's had a few too many. Never put your employees in a position where they have to monitor you, or take your keys away from you. It's asking too much of them, and putting them in a very awkward position. No one appreciates that, least of all the people who are supposed to be able – and want – to look up to you.
Don't Play Favorites
Of course you're going to like some employees more than others. There'll be one person you just click with, someone with whom you'd be very good friends if not for the work situation that requires keeping a little distance. Because you can't hang out with that person the way you'd like to, you may try to compensate by treating that employee a little better than the others. If you think you're being subtle about it, you're wrong. The other employees will notice it, and it will cause problems.
Having several employees can be very much like having a family, especially if that's the kind of culture you've worked to build in your company. Like a family, there will be some sibling rivalries, and competition for your attention as the pseudo parental figure. Don't encourage it. Everyone needs to work together, not against each other, and if it becomes obvious that you favor one employee over the others, the employees on the outs will band together against the favorite. It's just human nature. And nothing destroys morale more quickly in the office than feeling unappreciated, or as if the work being done doesn't really matter. Treat all your employees equally but fairly, which also means that when one of them isn't performing, you take the appropriate action – even if it's your favorite.
The main answer is, yes, you can be friends with your employees, just not the same kind of friends you are with your non-work friends. Be friendly, be fair, but keep the focus on work, morale, and productivity, and you'll get much more out of your employees than you would if you tried to make them like you all the time. In other words – be the boss.
Related: As the boss, you may be concerned about getting too chummy with your staff to keep an eye toward building trust in the workplace. Yet, as we write about here, research shows a possible link between budding friendships among your staff resulting in more highly engaged employees when it comes to dealing with leaders and managers.